With thought in mind, I have to say that I love old people. I wouldn't change their shitty diapers or anything, I just think they are pretty cool. Wise, patient, kooky and SLOW.

Damn are they slow. Being slow in itself is no big deal. Nor is being fat, it's just what you do with it.

If you are slow, that's cool. Just don't drive in the fast lane. Just don't drive at all. Be a passenger pops.

Where is all this going you ask? Why the hell do old retired people feel it necessary to shop on the weekends or during "regular" lunch hours?

I am a cursed soul. I work 9 - 5 PM Monday through Friday. I have 60 minutes for lunch and just over 48 hours for a weekend including sleep time.

Every lunch hour, there they are - in cue at the bank, at the bakery, at the lunch counters... They don't have their money ready or their order ready... they gab with the teller la la la la the clock is running for the rest of the world except them.

Perhaps they know that they piss me off and all decide to jam everything up exactly when I take my lunch... "there he goes folks, get your walkers and buggies ready ..."

My Neighbor is about 412 years old. He can barely walk, or press the elevator buttons. YET, he gets into his brand new Lincoln Town Car and speeds away.

Please Granny, stay off the road during our lunch hours!!!