So yeah, back from the Europe 09 trip.  Wow.  Europe is phucking awesome.  Shitty in the summer heat wave, but awesome.  Nothing is better than a summer in Europe drinking with friends and family.  Throw in a wicked show at Hyde Park and what else is there?  Oh that's right, Amsterdam...

First rule of Amsterdam, there is no Amsterdam.  Second rule, you gotta go to Amsterdam. You need with you a fantastic pair of running shoes.  The city is so gorgeous and pretty much everything is walkable.  Besides, it's the best way to get to know a city.  If you go with someone, make sure that person kicks ass.  Make sure their into all the same shit as you.  Make sure it's someone you can hang out with, all. day. looonnng. 

The misnomer about the city is that, "anything goes" which is simply not true.  Not visibly anyway.  Sure you got your corner boys - typically African dudes - who might throw out a, "hey you need something..?" but don't go for it.  Amsterdam offers a lot, so unless you're a complete jackass, don't buy shit of guys in the street.  Pot, Hash and Hookers are legal, that's it.  And, you have to look for it to get it - mind you, it's not hard to find.  Not every bar sells 420.  Your typical pub does doesn't sell it, but some allow you to smoke it inside.  It is illegal (as of 2008) to smoke tobacco inside. 

A friend of mine compiled a list of what he bought... now according to him, the effect of smoking depends on how much you've already smoked.  For example (he said) the first shmoke (Dutch accent) is the best.  Whereas the 3rd one of the day you may not really notice.  So it's best to wait about 1-2 hours before you light up again.  What you do, is go to a coffee shop, have a coffee and a shmoke then go walk around for an hour or so.  Then maybe have a beer and a shmoke and so on. 

The cost of a gram can range between 10 Euro ($15 USD) and 15 Euro ($21USD) so pretty much the same as in the States, I'm told.

They have great falafel and also french fries - get 'em with mayonnaise.  You'll die. My friend went on to tell me, pace yourself.  Don't be like a high school kid before a dance - chugging jungle juice made from your parents liquor cabinet. 

I have no idea how many coffee shops there are.  If "a lot" is a scientific measurement..there ya go. A lot.  There's of course The Bulldog and The Grasshopper, which are overrun by stupid tourists too lazy to look anywhere else.  But maybe that's the point.  We are talking 420 after all.  But don't go there.  It's like going to McDonalds. 

Here is the list of Coffee Shops:

Ricks Coffeeshop:
5 Days of Haze (apparently their strongest), New York Diesel

Sheeba:
White Russian, Nepal Cream (hash)

Pick Up The Pieces:
Thai (I hate this shit)

Cafe Free Adam:
Super Skunk (Great stuff)

Baba:
Amnesia Haze, Hash Brownie (0.3gr) per Brownie.  Half had no effect on me.  Wish I tried another, never did.

Cafe City Hall:
Blueberry.  Very tasty. 

Green House / Room?:
White Widow, Hawaiian Snow (the funniest stuff ever).  Green house (or room, I forget) Judging by the wall of fame, they have, is a great place to purchase.  They know their stuff.

Twilight Zone:
Santa Maria.  Local Dutch Grown. 

Old Church Cafe:
Bubblicious. 

The hookers in the redlight district are 50 euros for a phuck and 60 for a phuck and suck.  So I'm told.  There's no price difference between the ugly ones, and there are some very ugly ones and the hot ones, and there are some very very hot ones. 

And I found out the hard way (pardon the pun) that there is no price difference between night time hookers and daytime hookers.  I was waved into one of the rooms so naturally I went in.  She closed the door behind me.  My main concern, being Dutch was that she was going to charge me just for stepping in the room.  She made it clear that there would be no charge for looking.  So who am I to argue.  She asked to see my dick - I whipped it out.  She grabbed it and asked if she could put her mouth on it.  I said, no.  I put my semi hard unit back into my pants, she then asked me If I wanted to see hers.  I asked, her what?  "My penis" she replied.  Not wanting to offend the transgender prostitute, I waited for a second (more in disbelief than anything) before I left.  That's right my first time and I get tossed off by a guy.

Now of course I made this all up ? (see rule #1).