In the spirit of April Fools, I received my annual rent increase.

What makes it so ironic is - like most of us who live in an apartment, the owner is a lazy,cheap pig.

My wall to almost wall carpet is riddled with carpet nails making my living room floor a perfect, mine removal training ground.

Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra

But the bastard doesn't seem to care. The elevators don't work - forcing me to walk down 2 flights of stairs!!!

But really if you're paying rent, your services should work. So, after running the dishwasher 48 times before it would actually work...I snapped and called the fine folks at L.A City's Housing Department, and after trying 6 different disconnected and wrong numbers, I finally get through to a recording that, pologies for any inconvenience that their two week office move may cause and to please call back for a list of new numbers...

Wonderful. But BEFORE I even had the pleasure of having my cock stroked by L.A City's outdated phone directory, I was honored to speak with a "customer service" rep at the "Rent Deferment Center"

Now, the "Customer Service" rep is there to calm the tattered nerves of irate tenants who are sick of being raped... and given the fact that the department is really a "complaint department" one might expect that the poor representative answering the phone is herself, a little tattered.

So, what does the city do - They hire Asian customer service representatives.. so after hours of trying to lodge a legitimate concern and or complaint, you have to spend another 6 days inserting, "W's" and "R's" wherever necessary hoping to understand what Mrs. Wong just said.

It's a fantastically funny as I sit here writing about it, what a great sense of humor the mayor must have... Let's hire non English speaking people to answer phone calls of irate citizens...

Of course I love the fact that we're a big melting pot and we can all get along blah blah blah... I love diversity.

If you're out for Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant that's fine...fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra...But when I'm writing a check and I need to know the dollar amount, it's kind of important to enunciate. fo fi tu... Oh you mean $452.00...here ya go!