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Movie Review
Atonement
TagsAtonement, Dr. Tom, Movie Review |
Well, it's here -- this year's Oscar-begging piece of "good" crap about attractive people with English accents who fall in "love" and get "torn apart by war" has been named "Atonement."
James MacAvoy and Keira Knightly make up the pretty couple who are in love on an English estate for a while (the same kind of love that Viggo and Liv had in "The Lord of the Rings," the kind where you're just supposed to accept that they're in love because they're standing in front of a waterfall), and both do a "good" acting job in a movie with "good" music, "good" cinematography (there's even one long tracking shot that goes on for minutes as James walks through a war-torn landscape and looks around like a confused child at all this "war" and "chaos" and other stuff that the world does when it's tearing young English lovers apart), and a bunch of other "good" shit that makes one wonder -- Why don't I give a bucket of llama diarrhea whether or not these idiots even end up together? That could be because the story is so done to death and lame and shallow, although I'm sure the book made it look original. "The English Patient" suffered from this for the first half, but then managed to pull off a heartfelt enough ending that made us forgive the long journey we had to endure through the goddam desert to get there. "Atonement" just spends all its time trying to be "The Next English Patient," and for all the money and time they spent on it, the best word to describe this film: "unnecessary." A little girl who has a crush on James frames him for a crime because he doesn't wanna bang her, he gets sent to jail and then the army, Keira says "come back to me" (with an English accent, so that makes it a poetic line and you're just a rotten bastard if you don't feel her pain) over and over again until we want to throw up, the girl grows up a little and feels bad, and then a poetically lame/sad ending occurs (I hear you're an automatic dick if you spoil it because it's so core, but let's just say I was far less than impressed and am only not gonna spoil it for you because I want you to stand up to your bitch girlfriend without anyone else's help for once and tell her this is where you draw the goddam line when she tries to drag you into it). Whatever, it's your money. Go see "Atonement" and then buy yourself a pair of pink bunny ears, because you need to wear them in public and be seen for the pansy-ass piece of shit you are. (one bong - you must have at least one if you're weak-minded enough to buy into this garbage) CommentsThere are no comments on this item. |
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