natureofproject: I want to get a guy to like me, but I don't know how. He is a very good friend of mine, but i like him. he used to like my friend but i don't know if he still does because my friend didn't like him. the thing is though before a while back my friend thought that the guy i liked, liked me. i told my friend who asked this that we are just friends. she wrote a note anyways asking him if he liked me. he said we are just friends also. the thing is i did not like him then, but now i do and i think he just thinks we are good friends. oh yeah another problem is that he goes out with people, you know dates people he doesn't even like. i want to tell him i like him, but what if he doesn't like me back or what if he just wants to be friends. I don't know how to tell him because i don't want it to ruin our friendship and i don't want him to start thinking i am so weird. i don't know how to tell him i like him. should i teel a good friend of mine?

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SM: Phuck me, when i read your email, i thanked God i'm no longer a teenager. Is this how kids your age act? Other than the Asian and Jewish kids who are hard at work studying...

The reason you wrote in is because you want to hear it straight right? Well then here goes...

You're really annoying. No offense. Are you really putting this much thought into it? Is this what everyday of your life consists of? Fair enough, what else is there in life other than boys (or girls), right? But you have absolutely NO control over anyone else's feeling or actions other than your own. So learn it now. Like a Buddhist monk, take a few weeks away from the 'scene' and focus on getting over all this drama crap.

The one thing you take comfort in is that you're never going to see any of these people in 10 years from now. The thing is of course, you have to deal with these people now - so the ONLY thing you can do is be cool as a mother phucker. Don't get caught up in all this 'note writing' bullshit, or any 'he said, she said' crap. Listen to me Monica, everytime you face a situation where you're not sure what to do - ALWAYS remember you only have 2 choices and 2 outcomes. Two general categories.. right... you with me so far...? Okay so let's say you start getting into all this drama with your friend.. and start acting like a nut.. the outcome will only be miserable, you risk embarrassment... people do weird things when they like someone. BUT if you play it cool and you "never let them see you sweat" Don't ever show too much emotion, it'll always come back to bite you in the ass. That doesn't mean don't have feelings - just don't display them for all those idiots to see.

Ask yourself why you suddenly like this guy... you like this guy because of your friend. We all date people because we're looking for acceptance from others. Either we want to steal somebody else's boyfriend, or we suddenly start liking the guy that just broke up with us.. or whatever. Tell me some of this makes senses. You must trust me on this. Don't tell this guy anything. Can you do that, can you just be normal and not mess it up? You're going to lie somebody else in a few months from now anyway, so put it all in perspective.

SM