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Most probably because I suck at them...but mainly, I hate relationships because they remind me of what a pathetic bore I am.  They remind me of how I do the same thing(s) all the time.  They remind me of my daily routine, which when growing up, I never thought I’d have. 

I’m comfortable in my own skin and my own routine…I’m perfectly fine with doing nothing on a Friday and Saturday night but watch hockey, drink beer and smoke pot. But will ‘she’ be?  Suddenly she’ll know that every Friday and Saturday I do the same thing. 

When I meet a girl, I can give her my best 15 minutes, but after that it all falls apart...quickly! I used to think I could date anyone, not because of my stellar good looks and my lisp, but rather, I'm great at fronting.  I thought I was a good chameleon.  I thought I could blend into whatever the girl wanted me to be.  I could pretend to be sophisticated, knowledgeable, proactive, athletic...sure I can play a game of pick up...once. 

But sure enough, my true lazy couch potatoing ways seep out...much like those morning drips.  And within the month, there I am laying on the couch one hand in a chip bag, the other diligently packing a bowl...it's in my DNA.  I'm the scorpion riding across the river on the frog's back...As much as I may want to be all those others things, I'm not.  Could I be?  I don't see why not.  But obviously I'm content (depressed) enough with who I am. 

Well most recently, I found a frog with thick skin, laced with some poison of her own...so hopefully we'll make it across that river after all.  GAY!

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